Boundless Sarcasm – Pharming, Animal Dumping, and Stereotyping

Free at Last (Sort of)

 

Honestly, no one is every truly free, but my stint of jury duty is over and I finally have the time needed to pick up the pace here. And I have a lot of catching up to do. I know it’s a big ‘no no’ to post more than two articles in one day, but I’m just bursting with built up ideas, so today I’m gonna go against my nature and break the rules a little. I plan to finish up the series that started from the last Daily Prompt I participated in, but before I do that I’d like to go ahead and pound out the new one posted this morning.

 

Today’s Daily Prompt is:

Game of Groans

Think about an object, an activity, or a cultural phenomenon you really don’t like. Now write a post (tongue in cheek or not – your call!) about why it’s the best thing ever.

 

A Little History

 

Before I get started I’d like to point out that I’m frequently sarcastic, as well as a pessimist, so I have a lot of grievances with the world. There’s so many things I could write about on this topic that I could actually create a series that lasted months (and I might, at that). That’s why I’ve chosen to use three actions that anger me, rather than one. Now, those of you that have read some of my previous posts know that when I expand beyond a single point it tends to backfire on me, causing  the discussion to stretch into way too many installments rather than the single article it should be, but I’m working on training myself against that habit, and today is my first attempt in controlling myself. Wish me luck!

 

Awesomeness!

 

Alright, first I’ll detail the ‘cons’ for each topic:

Pharming

Pharming is a euphemism used by teens in reference to abusing prescription drugs in an attempt to get high, and usually the practice involves drinking alcohol or combining more than one drug. ‘Pharming Parties‘ are secretive gatherings of teens where each attendee brings pills they’ve either stolen from family and/or friends, purchased from dealers, or obtained from doctors after skillfully faking symptoms. In some cases, they trade with each other directly, but there have been occasions where a large salad bowl or container will be placed in the middle of the room so that everyone can deposit their contributions into it. The dangerous larder is then mixed thoroughly so that everyone can randomly select a few pills to take, usually having no clue exactly what they’ve grabbed or what kind of interactions they might experience.

Some claim that the media coverage on this issue have blown the threat out of proportion, saying that these parties aren’t the epidemic some might think they are, but, regardless of their frequency, they are still extremely perilous, and they still take place from time to time. However, there is an upside to all of this:

  • If you’re a geek, nerd, or outcast attending Pharming Parties could boost you up the social ladder, especially if you’re amusing when you’re high. It’s a great way to make real friends.
  • If you have ADD or ADHD chances are you’ll end up grabbing some Ritalin or Adderall, which are frequently used at the parties, and are the best medications for Attention Deficit. So you’ll actually be doing yourself some good.
  • Most of the people who show up know more about the pills they have than the doctors that prescribe them, and if something bad happens you can be sure that they’ll know how to save your life. They’ve spent hours studying the medical field online, after all. You can always partake in confidence.
  • If the cops show up you’ll be so high that you won’t care at all when they handcuff you, toss you into the uncomfortable back seat of their cruiser, and take you to jail. Popping pills is totally worth destroying your future, and since you’re under 18 the judge and prosecuting attorney will probably go easy on you, especially if you blame peer pressure.
  • If you do die at least you won’t have to worry about turning in your math homework on Monday.
  • Pills are harmless, and using them is a lot safer than taking street drugs, like heroine and meth.

Animal Dumping

The term ‘Animal Dumping’ is pretty self-explanatory, but it can take many forms. Some people end up in a dire situation where they have no choice but move to a new home that doesn’t allow pets, so they leave them behind at their previous residence. Others don’t consider the responsibility when adopting pets, find out their in way over their head, and release them some place far from home so they can’t find their way home. An unplanned pregnancy can put a lot of strain on a family, and most turn to abandoning the babies as soon as they’re done weaning. Everyone has their own reasons for doing this, but a lot of the time it comes down to avoiding the perceived shame and embarrassment associated with turning the animals over to shelter staff. Some are so desperate to end ‘the problem’ quietly that they even gather the kittens, puppies, whatever, into a sack and throw them out the window of their car as they drive down the road. Dumping a pet is unnecessary and cruel, but there are major advantages to both humans and animals when they are let loose to fend for themselves:

  • Finding a new owner for your pets can take months. Throwing your pet outside only takes moments.
  • Studies show that cats who have owners are more likely to be obese and develop other diseases as a result of the imbalance between exercise and readily available food, which humans cause through pampering and protection. Living ‘in the wild’ ensures that they don’t eat too much, and the high amounts of energy required to catch their own sustenance keeps them in shape and at the proper weight.
  • When a cat or dog lives past the age that they’d normally die around if they were feral they usually end up in a lot of pain from diseases like arthritis, organ failure, and dental decay. The constant danger they face on their own ensures that they’re unlikely to live long enough to suffer. It’s more humane, if you really think about it.

Stereotyping

Being stereotyped or discriminated against simply because of your personal attributes is one of the worst experiences a person could have, and it’s certainly unacceptable behavior in some cases, but it has its uses and it’s not as evil as some make it seem.

  • Let’s face it: most stereotypes have been proven to be true most of the time. If you’re in a bad neighborhood and you see someone dressed like a gang member chances are they are one. They probably have a gun, too, or at the least a can of spray paint. If you see a bunch of cars parked on someone’s lawn they probably drink a lot, and there’s a good chance they live on welfare or have a very low-paying job. If someone says they’re Mormon they probably have 10 kids at home. If you see a teen dressed in nothing but black clothes, with their hair all spiked up and crazy, their face covered in piercings and weird makeup, they’re probably suicidal and hate everyone.
  • Using stereotypes to judge people at first glance is a major time-saver. Before they say a single word you’ll already know if they’re the kind of person you want to associate with. This cuts down on the wasteful conversations you’d have to go through just to get to know someone. Why bother when the clothes they’re wearing say everything already. Am I right?
  • Stereotyping allows law officials to pick out potential criminals and trouble makers from crowds efficiently. It assists them in protecting good, law-abiding citizens and makes paying taxes more tolerable since you know they’re doing everything possible to actually earn the money we pay them. So when you see a cop ‘harassing’ someone because of preconceived notions you should thank him, not shun him.

 

In Reality

 

If I do turn this into a series of articles this will be the time when I reveal any relevant facts against my fake arguments, as well as how I really feel about what I’ve previously said. I’m not going to do this today because this post is already too long. But if you plan on leaving a comment please, please, please keep in mind that everything I’ve said is the exact opposite of my own views (well, except the opening paragraphs for each topic). While a few of the facts I’ve stated are true that doesn’t mean I actually support the actions those points are defending. I just wanted to make that perfectly clear.

 

Thank you for stopping by!

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3 thoughts on “Boundless Sarcasm – Pharming, Animal Dumping, and Stereotyping

  1. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Game of Groans and the Dreaded Sock Monster | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

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